My experience at the discos

Here was I in the year 1994, devasted at the loss of my husband , whose death was sudden due to the negligence of the hospital.At the age of forty five I became a widow with three small children. Everything fell apart, had to make grave decisions and  decide what was best for the future and there was no one to share my burden.

My neighbours seeing my plight  wanted to cheer me up and get me out of the depression . So they came up with a bright idea asking me to  accompany them to a disco as Nyanza club, Kisumu on a Friday night.As they were young and I being an elder,their parents would allow them to go only if I accompanied them.Since  the words of Eleanor Roosevelt,"The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost,to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience."rang in my ears,I decided to go. Well those who were accompanying me were my  young neighbour girls.For all of us it was going to be a first time experience.

So my next door neighbour,Sheila full of enthusiasm thought that since I only wear saree or salwar it wouldn't suit the occasion.So she rummaged through her daughter's closet and came out with a few outfits. Being petite, I had quite a job finding the right size.Then I picked a top and skirt with  yellow background and black print.Sheila soon made some adjustments.I was so excited that it took me away from my depression. My three little children being of that tender age were all  very supportive  and considerate.They wanted their Mom to have a good time and be happy.

So all dressed up, I went with our neigbour girls, Meenu and  Sonia,so much younger than me but of a bigger build.I looked like a kid next to them, especially in my skirt and blouse.And right enough, when we reached Nyanza Club, the door keeper refused to let me in,saying I was under age and  he had no problem with the other two.I was shocked and had to reveal my identity, that I was the Principal of a school. To which he was still hesitant and later agreed,with suspicion strewn all across his face.

The room was quite dark with music blaring and  from the disco ball colorful lights flashed moving in a circular motion. At first it made my head spin and l had to get accustomed to those lights in the dark room. 

 Actually it is these disco balls that rotate and radiate the different colours.

Well we didn't mingle with the rest of the crowd but danced among ourselves. That is the good thing about a disco you can keep to yourself and unlike ball room dancing, you don't touch anyone. It is a kind of social distancing.I was elated and for a moment forgot all my woes and danced away my blues.We took a break and went and had snacks and settled for soft drinks.It was indeed a night to remember, bringing out all my gyrating skills and moving to the sound of the music and those flashing coloured lights. I really enjoyed because in the dark nobody is watching you or out to criticize.So on the disco floor.....you let out all your steam.

"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." Epicteus.

We returned home after midnight ,my kids were fast asleep and I was surprised to find my bed very neat and tidy. Whereas I had left it all piled up with  the outfits, I had  to choose from.My kids understood that I would  return tired and being so innocent and caring they thought like their father, I would have had a peg or two!Just like the little elves that you read in children's stories,they had done my bed for me.I was so thankful and grateful to them for being so mindful,that I tip toed and gave them each a kiss on their foreheads.I was so tired that I fell asleep so fast and the next day being a weekend could afford to lie in bed to heal my aching body.My mind was afresh the next day.

"Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced," as John Keats said, was so true of my disco experience.

It was indeed a whole new experience for me and soon became a memory to cherish. My children's attitude made me feel much better.It certainly made me have a new outlook to life and gave me a reason to look at the brighter side of life.

It then crossed my mind, that if it was back home, they would want me to mourn  my whole life and the thought of a widow going to a disco would have left room not only for gossip but being branded  as an evil woman.

Years later, I got another chance to experience disco dancing and that was in the year 2011 in my home town Thiruvananthapuram.I had grown older, wiser and was enjoying my retired life. My son's friend had two tickets for a disco at SPGrand days,so my son, Ashwin suggested that I go and enjoy.I wanted somebody to accompany me.So I got my neighbour again, but this time a doctor.It was her first experience and so she was excited and thrilled, just as I was, years back.It was the same experience dancing to the music with the colourful lights flashing and moving in a circular motion.

Unlike in Kenya, here it is a kind of taboo for women to go to discos.So we went without  letting any of our neighbours know about it.And till today it remains our secret.I've always been a dare devil who likes to experiment.

When we landed there, my doctor neighbour, met the Director of SPFort hospital where she worked as he is also partner in SPGrand days.He came running to speak to her and she felt a bit embarrassed.I was surprised to see a few of my young students there who were more than shocked, glad to see me as they know that their teacher is always young at heart.This time we danced between ourselves and didn't mingle with anyone.I couldn't understand why people look down on discos because if you keep your distance you are safe and it's fun.

These words of Anthony de Mello are so apt,

"There is only one cause for unhappiness;the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread,so commonly held,that it never occurs to you to question them."

Yes when you see that there's nothing wrong with discos it's high time to put those widespread beliefs to rest by rising against the trend.

We both enjoyed ourselves and my doctor friend  always reminisces about the fun we had. As Ashley Morgan puts it, " The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise.It is not that we seize them,but they seize us," which is so true.