A Journey to the centre of the Universe

                   Center of the Universe

As I said earlier,"A journey  of a thousand miles starts with a single step."Yes we were determined to explore Tulsa.

Sometimes you can live in a city for a number of years but never visit the important sites.That was the case with my cousin.Vimala.So here we were, ready to explore and find out the famous center of the universe in downtown Tulsa.

So after Google searching the route on the computer, we took a print out. At that time there were no smart phones. It was a really adventurous journey as Vimala drove, we would at times miss the turning and as you cannot reverse,you have to find the next exit, so it was fun and laughter till we finally reached the place having made many exits before entry.At last we found it situated in the North-West of the Oklahoma Jazz Hall of Fame.

     The way to the center of the Universe

There is no landmark sign to show where it is.So after some rounds here and there we finally found it,we had actually visualised a  dark tunnel or something to lead us to the center.

It is a small circle of approximately 30  inches in diameter made of worn out concrete.Surrounded by one more circle of around 13 bricks and so on till it adds up to 8 feet in diameter. There is nothing much about its look but you have to wait to hear what it does.

The circular bricks and you stand at the center

You have to stand inside the concrete circle and make a sound and that sound will be echoed back much louder than the original one.Which is indeed something amazing, as there is nothing big present there to reflect your voice. The person standing outside the circle won't be able to hear a thing.

It was built in the 80's when the span bridge had to be rebuilt after a fire.It is believed to be the vortex where all cosmic energies meet,giving it the effect it has.It is referred to as the big door knocker of Tulsa, just because of its looks. A place I'm glad I visited and experienced.

My first day at Tulsa

  

   At her home in Tulsa with the glass painting in the background

The year 2009 when I visited US, Tulsa was named the best place to live in the United States,among the top 10 cities and boy wasn't I lucky to be in  that place at that time.

The first day my cousin Vimala decided that we chill ,as I had to acclimatize to the weather and the time zone.So she decided to do her culinary skills at barbecue in her back yard deck.

                   .    The back deck

       Vimala's culinary skills at barbecue

She had the barbecue equipment and so we went out and purchased all the necessary things. By evening she started preparing the beef patties and taking the cob off the sweet corn. We had the hamburger,which is a sandwich consisting of cooked patties of ground meat,beef placed within a bun.

She had invited a friend over. We had the barbecued hamburgers and sweet  corn.It was served with green salads and tomato ketchup.And a bottle or two of Ale to quench our thirst.So it was a quiet evening but with a lot of chatter and laughter.

   Enjoying the barbecued hamburger and sweet corn

    Quenching  our thirst with a bottle of Ale

 While I write this blog, I am reminded of Jane Fonda's words in the Vanity Fair 2015

" I think that is one reason why women live longer than men. Friendship between women is different than friendship between men. We talk about different things.We delve deep. We go under, even if we haven't seen each other for years.There are hormones that are released from women to other women that are healthy and do away with stress hormones...It's my women friends that keep starch in my spine and without them,I don't know where I would be.We have to just hang together and help each other "

The days ahead were more fun for both of us as we explored Tulsa.

My experience of flying to the United States of America

"The world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page." St.Augustine.

I love travelling and I never ever believed that my dream of visiting the United States would become a reality.It was in the December of 2008,that my cousin Vimala who is a doctor in USvisted me and told me that she intended to give me a nice holiday. I was at first bereft for words and thought she was only chiding.Till she became serious and made me go online to book for my US visa.She later sent me the supporting papers as she was sponsoring me.

My visa interview at the US Embassy in Chennai was scheduled for 17th March.Since I had no one to accompany me, my friend Omana glady consented. We went by the Chennai Express and reached the next morning.I had booked the hotels rooms online,as the hotel was only walking distance to the Embassy. The time allotted for me was 10 am and so not being sure of the place, we set off early.I had heard from others that the queue would be very long and you would have to wait for hours in the heat.Lucky for me there was absolutely no such queue and I was able to go in immediately.I was allowed only to take my passport and the required documents,not even the umbrella or mobile so I left it with Omana.After the formalities,we could choose which counter we wanted to go to.Those who were not familiar with English,could choose the Indian personnel.I preferred to go to the American.He asked me what was the purpose of my visit.So I replied that I was going on a holiday Then he asked me which other places I had visited to which I told him I was a Principal at a Kenyan school and had visited Mayalsia. He was very much impressed and told me to go and enjoy my holiday. To which I was confident that I would get the visa.Omana was quite surprised to see me out so fast.We went back to the hotel had lunch rested and then visited our common friend,Hema. I needed some pants and tops.Hema helped me to do the shopping at a bargain,for which I am thankful to her. 

We returned the next evening by train and reached Trivandrum in time for lunch. The very next day my passport arrived with the visa stamped in it.Then I went about booking the tickets for my onward journey. My niece Tanya so much wanted me to visit the UK and I thought I could stop over on my return.So I booked my ticket via Heathrow as my return would be accordingly. But to my dismay, the server was down in the UK consulate at Kochi.So I had to give up my plan as there would be a further delay in getting my visa as my ticket was already booked for the 4th of May.

I packed my bags, thinking of ever detail so that I wouldn't forget a thing and not too sure of the climate and what to expect.My suitcase was full of warm clothing and pants,jeans and tops.The day arrived for me to leave,I was a bundle of nerves travelling alone and with mixed feelings because I was leaving my two children behind but was assured by my doctor neighbour and friends not to worry since they were there.

I had booked my ticket by Emirates and so the flight from Trivandrum  to Dubai on 3rd May 2009 was fine. I landed at Dubai airport and really wondered if I was in some South Asian country because everywhere you looked there were either Philippines, Chinese and quite a few Malayalees.I had a long overnight wait as my flight was only at 3.30 am.No accomodation was provided but  was allowed to sit in a big room on wide sofas with attached toilet.Was given food coupons.By chance I met a Malayali,an aged mother and daughter,Mary, who flew in from Sidney on their way to Trivandrum.So I went with them for dinner and had good company till they left.

Dubai airport

                    

My flight was to Heathrow airport and from there I was to catch my connecting flight to Chicago airport,by Emirates.

 "Travellers always buy experience which no books can give."Anonymous. It was so much true, especially with this sector of my flying experience.

I boarded the  Emirates flight and settled well but there was a delay in take off and when we were nearing Heathrow airport they said there was a smoke alarm, so we couldn't land there but had to go to Gatwick airport.I knew I would miss my flight in all this commotion and didn't know how it could be solved.At Gatwick, the plane had to be refuelled,so that was a further delay.At last it took off and landed in Heathrow,as they sensed it was a false alarm.You can imagine all this while how nervous I had been not knowing whether I would actually catch my flight and if not what would happen.I rushed as fast my legs could carry me.I think that if I had taken part in a Marathon I would surely have won the first place.On reaching the desk I was informed that the flight had left.I immediately approached the help desk and they told me that since I missed my flight I would be put onto the next available flight.It was then that I heaved a sight of relief and my pounding heart rate went back to normal

                 Heathrow airport

It didn't take very long to board the Emirates flight to Chicago and soon landed at O'Hare airport.My onward journey was to Tulsa,in Oklahoma was by Amer an Airlines.I really didn't know how to inform my cousin about the delay as smart phones were not  so common those days. So I walked around the airport looking for a phone booth to call.That required pence and I didn't have any,so I approached a bar tender and asked if he had change for dollars.But he appeared stone deaf because he didn't perhaps want to part with his pennies.So a stranger asked me for what I required the change and when I told him it was to ring my cousin.Like a good Samaritan,he volunteered to call from his phone.Unfortunately my cousin didn't pick it up and so I couldn't inform her.But he said that he would call her later and inform and that I need not worry So I informed him that my plane would land at 8.15 pm.I thanked him and moved on.

When I reached the Tulsa  International airport,I collected my baggage and moved out.It was a pleasent climate and was dark by now.My cousin was nowhere to be seen and I wondered if she got the message.I had no way of contacting her but decided to wait. Around 8.50 pm I saw her hurrying from the parking lot with a shawl and she said,"You must be freezing".To which I replied that I felt I was in an AC, because I love the cold.She later told me that she heard it as 8.50 and not 8.15 pm.

I was tired after the long journey but the jet lag never got me and after dinner and a wash and some chatting I soon fell asleep.

"A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step."I was going to explore every part of America that I could.

My experience at the discos

Here was I in the year 1994, devasted at the loss of my husband , whose death was sudden due to the negligence of the hospital.At the age of forty five I became a widow with three small children. Everything fell apart, had to make grave decisions and  decide what was best for the future and there was no one to share my burden.

My neighbours seeing my plight  wanted to cheer me up and get me out of the depression . So they came up with a bright idea asking me to  accompany them to a disco as Nyanza club, Kisumu on a Friday night.As they were young and I being an elder,their parents would allow them to go only if I accompanied them.Since  the words of Eleanor Roosevelt,"The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost,to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience."rang in my ears,I decided to go. Well those who were accompanying me were my  young neighbour girls.For all of us it was going to be a first time experience.

So my next door neighbour,Sheila full of enthusiasm thought that since I only wear saree or salwar it wouldn't suit the occasion.So she rummaged through her daughter's closet and came out with a few outfits. Being petite, I had quite a job finding the right size.Then I picked a top and skirt with  yellow background and black print.Sheila soon made some adjustments.I was so excited that it took me away from my depression. My three little children being of that tender age were all  very supportive  and considerate.They wanted their Mom to have a good time and be happy.

So all dressed up, I went with our neigbour girls, Meenu and  Sonia,so much younger than me but of a bigger build.I looked like a kid next to them, especially in my skirt and blouse.And right enough, when we reached Nyanza Club, the door keeper refused to let me in,saying I was under age and  he had no problem with the other two.I was shocked and had to reveal my identity, that I was the Principal of a school. To which he was still hesitant and later agreed,with suspicion strewn all across his face.

The room was quite dark with music blaring and  from the disco ball colorful lights flashed moving in a circular motion. At first it made my head spin and l had to get accustomed to those lights in the dark room. 

 Actually it is these disco balls that rotate and radiate the different colours.

Well we didn't mingle with the rest of the crowd but danced among ourselves. That is the good thing about a disco you can keep to yourself and unlike ball room dancing, you don't touch anyone. It is a kind of social distancing.I was elated and for a moment forgot all my woes and danced away my blues.We took a break and went and had snacks and settled for soft drinks.It was indeed a night to remember, bringing out all my gyrating skills and moving to the sound of the music and those flashing coloured lights. I really enjoyed because in the dark nobody is watching you or out to criticize.So on the disco floor.....you let out all your steam.

"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." Epicteus.

We returned home after midnight ,my kids were fast asleep and I was surprised to find my bed very neat and tidy. Whereas I had left it all piled up with  the outfits, I had  to choose from.My kids understood that I would  return tired and being so innocent and caring they thought like their father, I would have had a peg or two!Just like the little elves that you read in children's stories,they had done my bed for me.I was so thankful and grateful to them for being so mindful,that I tip toed and gave them each a kiss on their foreheads.I was so tired that I fell asleep so fast and the next day being a weekend could afford to lie in bed to heal my aching body.My mind was afresh the next day.

"Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced," as John Keats said, was so true of my disco experience.

It was indeed a whole new experience for me and soon became a memory to cherish. My children's attitude made me feel much better.It certainly made me have a new outlook to life and gave me a reason to look at the brighter side of life.

It then crossed my mind, that if it was back home, they would want me to mourn  my whole life and the thought of a widow going to a disco would have left room not only for gossip but being branded  as an evil woman.

Years later, I got another chance to experience disco dancing and that was in the year 2011 in my home town Thiruvananthapuram.I had grown older, wiser and was enjoying my retired life. My son's friend had two tickets for a disco at SPGrand days,so my son, Ashwin suggested that I go and enjoy.I wanted somebody to accompany me.So I got my neighbour again, but this time a doctor.It was her first experience and so she was excited and thrilled, just as I was, years back.It was the same experience dancing to the music with the colourful lights flashing and moving in a circular motion.

Unlike in Kenya, here it is a kind of taboo for women to go to discos.So we went without  letting any of our neighbours know about it.And till today it remains our secret.I've always been a dare devil who likes to experiment.

When we landed there, my doctor neighbour, met the Director of SPFort hospital where she worked as he is also partner in SPGrand days.He came running to speak to her and she felt a bit embarrassed.I was surprised to see a few of my young students there who were more than shocked, glad to see me as they know that their teacher is always young at heart.This time we danced between ourselves and didn't mingle with anyone.I couldn't understand why people look down on discos because if you keep your distance you are safe and it's fun.

These words of Anthony de Mello are so apt,

"There is only one cause for unhappiness;the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread,so commonly held,that it never occurs to you to question them."

Yes when you see that there's nothing wrong with discos it's high time to put those widespread beliefs to rest by rising against the trend.

We both enjoyed ourselves and my doctor friend  always reminisces about the fun we had. As Ashley Morgan puts it, " The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise.It is not that we seize them,but they seize us," which is so true.